My Mama deposited treasure in me. Mother B as she is fondly known to all my friends is the strongest and most inspiring lady I know. I may be biased as she is my mother but the challenges she has faced raising me and my siblings, mostly on her own, I think deserves her more than a medal.
In honour of her I thought I’d share a few things she taught me
Mama said: Love is a verb
It’s a doing word she said, it dies if you keep it as a noun! The warm fuzzy factor doesn’t last, it can’t last. I’ve learnt that the WFF exists as an indicator of initial attraction. After that love must work to survive.
Relationships with other people bring up anxiety at times-- in them and in us. And when people are anxious, they sometimes do dumb things, like pick fights and act a little selfish. Relationships require work they require focus and nurturing and the willingness to stick with things even when they're hard. So it won't be all rainbows but the effort will be worth it -- when it's right.
Mama said: No one can love you like you (and God!)
Until you can love yourself she said, you will never believe anyone when they tell you they love you. So you will distrust and you will be needy trying to get them to convince you of something that they will never be able to convince you of. Nothing robs attraction like neediness!
If you can't accept all parts of yourself, even the parts you are not happy with, like your arms (yes the arms again) or your temper, then you will never be able to believe it if someone tells you they love you.
Finding someone to love, who will also love you back all of you, your darkness and all your light is to love yourself. That doesn't mean you don't work on yourself to make yourself better. It just means you start with acceptance: accepting and loving yourself exactly the way you are.
Mama said they are called the opposite sex for a reason
I'm not sure if it's true that men are so different from women that they could be from another planet – sometimes sure feels like it. What I know is there are huge differences in how males process things compared to females.
If we expect men to act like women emotionally, we will be hugely disappointed and resentful a lot of the time ~there are books about this subject. The bottom line is that women still need to have girlfriends in their lives. There is need for girlfriends to vent to, ponder the same subjects over and over and over again, get fashion advice from. Girl, don’t ditch all your girlfriends just because you have a new guy in your life! Girlfriends can add to your life in many ways men never can.
Mama said your man doesn’t define you; don’t give him a milestone he cannot carry.
First love consumes you; it can feel like you are possessed. You can't eat, you can't sleep. All you want to do is be with your new beloved. That's normal, but not realistic for any length of time. Just like you can't eat cake all day every day and still expect to healthy, you can't devote every waking moment to your significant other and be healthy.
You both need your own time apart -- time with friends; time for school or work; time for separate interests or hobbies; time to be alone time to be with God, time to grow. You have a higher definition of who you are.
Mama said: have self-respect.
The law of attraction states: like attracts like, it’s science. What I know for sure about the law of attraction and love is that self-respect attracts respect. When you stand for something, others will respect you for it. They will see that you love yourself and take care of yourself and it will inspire them to do the same toward you.
Mama knows best
This is in honour of all Mothers and the wisdom we glean, to all Mamas walking the gold pavement in heaven and the legacy you left, WE SALUTE YOU!
