Measure Up

.....Do not consider its appearance or its height

Measure up

There is largely pressure to “stack up” in life. We feel as if there is something wrong with us if, for example, we don’t make a certain amount of income, don’t have a large social circle, or don’t look and act a certain way in the presence of others. The list could truly go on forever.

As people I suspect we struggle with the thought that we are not good enough most of the time, the fear of not being good enough is one of the deepest and fundamental fears that rages within.

If you listened close enough, you usually would hear one primary question;

Why do I suck?

Life is usually driven by measurements of things and people around us, it’s part of a peoples DNA. Our lives are sometimes defined by these moments. We size up on the outside and forget to size up on the inside, on the things that really matter.

What is important anyway?

I have come to learn, there is more to people than what we see; there should be otherwise as humans if the outside is all we quantify we would be pretty limited. The thing is, I know what brands you wear but what's in you? I know what qualifications you hold but show me the measure of what's inside of you.  The lesson for me has been to measure HOW much and not how MANY!

I have learnt you can’t compare your way into progressing yourself, the people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too. The assessment of ourselves (and even others) can make us miss opportunities.  The size of the opponent must never outweigh the size of the opportunity!

Hey Hello Sailor!

I was in the university library when I saw him, not hooked up to the latest crowds or famous for driving borrowed cars, not measured up by society standards just for carrying his daddy’s name, but he caught my eye.

I had an unexplained mission in the library that day; I didn’t have any particular affinity for the library as a method of study. I sort of subscribed to the method of studying whilst laid down on my bed. At this current stage of my life, I feel I have a responsibility to say - for all you university students reading this, this mode of study is not recommended for you!!!

I saw him across levels of study books; I saw what the younger generation will call some “buff ting”!  In that moment the library took on a new meaning.

I made it my mission accidentally, on purpose, to “bump” into him from that day.
I figured you can’t ignore a face that pops up behind bookshelves and library desks, eventually you will have to succumb!

He did.

I saw what you couldn’t see with your eyes, I saw what was within and what could be. I saw what you could not measure with your eyes, but weigh with your heart. I saw the person within.

I had a bizarre desire to open up to him about my dad. Around that time my father happened to have a mental health crisis and was sectioned in the city’s mental health hospital.

I asked him if he would go with me to see my dad at the mental hospital.  Just like that no warning no prep talk, no explanation, I sprung it on him.  He agreed to come no questions asked, although slightly stunned.  He kept me company on our way there, waited for me outside as I visited my dad. He kept me company on my way back calm, stable and silent.

His action in that moment spoke to my shame, spoke to my insecurities, it spoke to my brokenness; it said to me this doesn’t define you, this is not who you are, you tower above this. It was in that moment that I knew I would marry this guy.

Poor thing, he had no idea.

You better measure what’s within - Twenty years later? I still do!